one flaw in women

Women have strengths that amaze men.
They bear hardships and they carry burdens,
but they hold happiness, love and joy.
They smile when they want to scream.
They sing when they want to cry.
They cry when they are happy
and laugh when they are nervous.
They fight for what they believe in.
They stand up to injustice.
They don't take "n o" for an answer
when they believe there is a better solution.
They go without so their family can have.
They go to the doctor with a frightened friend.
They love unconditionally.
They cry when their children excel
and cheer when their friends get awards.
They are happy when they hear about
a birth or a wedding.
Their hearts break when a friend dies.
They grieve at the loss of a family member,
yet they are strong when they
think there is no strength left.
They know that a hug and a kiss
can heal a broken heart.
Women come in all shapes, sizes and colors.
They'll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you
to show how much they care about you.
The heart of a woman is what makes the world keep turning.
They bring joy, hope and love.
They have the compassion and ideas.
They give moral support to their
family and friends.
They don't quit on their friends.
Women have vital things to say
and everything to give.

HOWEVER, IF THERE IS ONE FLAW IN WOMEN,
IT IS THAT THEY FORGET THEIR WORTH.

me-tamia

the road

the road may be long and hard,
the journey may make ur soul weary,
along this road are gems and treasures untold
along this road friends and foes alike u will meet
treasure ur friends and love ur enemies
for u see my lad, friends hoist u up when u fall,
but at the jeers of enemies,
legs regain strength to run to higher heights
wherest the road lead?
surely a place of grandeur
for a treacherous road such as this i reckon

the road may get familiar and smooth
nevertheless, forge ahead u must
for the road is not the prize
a few liberties on the road u may take
treasures and gems are not for the roadside
crowns and kingly robes
belong in the courts of kings and lords
my lad, ur world await..

this was written for my gurl Bim
who's battling surgical residency and enemies of progress


Bim,
u may yet get that beatdown i promised, if u keep letting ariwo oja deafen u
wey dem earplugs now!

looking forward to u and me on the beach in CABO... yeah!!

choosing self

i played this Tamia cd for the second time since i bought it.. i heard this song and remembered skipping it mid play cause i had no time for "chick dramatics" today.
i hear it now with an understanding that eluded me years back, i played it again and again..
and my heart ached for every girl/woman that had to endure any kind of abuse.
i dedicate this song to the women of the world and pray they will have the courage and strength to choose themselves each and every time they are faced with an abuser.

ps:once i find the time to install a player i will def put this song up..



Me by Tamia
Love was the former owner
But quiet is renting our house
It ceases my lips from speaking
But forms a sarcastic smile
Suspense now raised one of your eyebrows
You asked me if there's someone else
I replied yes, hell yes

[Bridge 1]
You asked if it's another man I said NO
You laughed and say is it a woman I say YES
Surprisingly you ask me for honey's name

[CHORUS]
And her name is me
And she loves me more than you'll ever know
And I finally see that
Loving you and loving me just don't seem to work at all
So patiently,
She's waiting on me to tell you that she needs love
And to choose between you two
Boy you know if I have to choose I choose me

[VERSE 2]
And she told me to tell you to never to hurt me again
Cause if you haven't heard she's a bad chick
Even though I haven't been
Yet and still you try and test me by raising an angry hand
Put it down, Put it down!

[Bridge 2]
I'm leaving don't try and stop me NO
I'm late and she is waiting, YES
My love for me is too much so I can't stayyy

[CHORUS]
And her name is me
And she loves me more than you'll ever know
And I finally see that
Loving you and loving me just don't seem to work at all
So patiently
She's waiting on me to tell you that she needs love
And to choose between you two
Boy you know if I have to choose I choose me

[VERSE 3]
Cause she's actually forming a threesome
And I'm happy that I can join them
Their names are me myself and I

[CHORUS]
And her name is me
She loves me more than you'll ever know
I finally see that
Loving you and loving me just don't seem to work at all
So patiently
She's waiting on me to tell you that she needs love
And to choose between you two
Boy you know if I have to choose I choose me
She's waiting on me to tell you that she needs love
Gotta to choose between you two
And you know if I have to choose I choose me
i gotta go with me.....

another woman and some

with only 2 hours of sleep in the past 48hrs i had to go to church on Sunday only because i had signed up to help with the youth program.

my only prayer was that it would end quick, it didn't!
at the end, the youth pastor gave a call for testimonies, every one and their mother had a testimony,just as i was contemplating skipping out,i saw one of the girls who was also a helper at the program get up to speak.
i 've known her for about 4yrs,she's one very pretty girl, she has a nice sense of style, i also know she has a son, just never bothered to ask her story.
in her own words:
my name is Heather,
i want to tell you about the tender mercies of God.
when the Bible says his mercies are new each and every morning, you better believe it, cos it's true.
for some of you who don't know me, i was born and raised in this church, i accepted the Lord at a young age, i did everything i was supposed to do as a good christian,, obeyed my parents went to school, didn't smoke or drink didn't fornicate, and so on,i considered myself a "good girl"
you can all just imagine how i felt when i found myself divorced at 22 with a child, that wasn't the worst part, the part that hurt the most was the looks, the gossiping,the way i was no longer a "good girl" in the eyes of my fellow Christians!
all because i refused to stay married to a wolf in sheep' s clothing?
i remember many a time when i came to church with tears in my eyes pushing my baby's stroller, but i came, every Sunday, every program, without fail.
why? even though, i felt rejected by my brethren never once,did i feel rejected by my God,the truth is, i felt His love more than ever.
i was being sustained daily by His mercy and grace.
today, His love is real to me, i have experienced His tender mercies, i live everyday by His grace. how would anyone know of God's mercies if they've never fallen from grace? i count myself blessed to know God's Mercy and grace at a young age, His love is as sure a the breath i take.
God bless u all.}



nb:how was i able to remember all this in my sleep deprived state?
i didn't. i bought the CD..lol

continued

that's sista!!

the fab5 hosted a baby shower for Roli on saturday.. tres fab!

i have known Roli for about 7 years now, she is one of the most sincere, honest and down to earth people i know, she quickly became good friends with us despite the difference in age, some of her age mates/friends chide her still to this day about playing with small small girls. their biggest palavar was our calling Roli her name rather than antie Roli. (at Roli's insistence)

over the past 7 years Roli has seen us thru thick and thin..from an emergency crash pad when a certain someone was thrown out by her shakazulu( that's u udu)even tho she was warned/begged/threatened not to shack up with him. to the place to go whenever we were too broke to pay attention or simply just to raid for groceries. (rofl)i can recall a number of times when she was raided by all five of us in the same week at different times for the same exact items.. one time she met the fifth raider at the door coat in arms,(that would be moi) and said "oya nisho nstore".or the staging place each time we had an owambe affair for gele and jewelries (some of her jewelries are still making rounds)i might disclose details for a fee or maybe not for hush money...
i can't forget her paying for a tutor when a certain someone tried to hide flunking calculus and lost a whole semester!! (shako jiya)what about the way she was always there for a certain drama queen? (the oscar goes to...)

we had a chance to return the favor a couple of times when all her so called friends got married and moved to another planet...
i can say without any doubt that,we learned first hand what it means to have faith in God and what integrity is..
as u can see it was only natural that we host her first baby shower at 39.


from now on, it's sista Roli we have an example to set o.

Sista Roli,we didn't mean to make u cry o,(we all hope it was tears of joy)
thanks a trillion for everything.(yes we saw the faces of all them pantis)
what can i say? hey,u raised us well.

a woman and some more

this weekend was great..
i was in the company of some exceptional women.


met Mabel on Friday night at my friend oyin's bday.(mabel was oyin's college room mate)the minute she walked in, she radiated elegance and poise, correct wattage smile, simple but elegant attire, minimal makeup and a twinkle in her eyes.
when introduced to me she gave me the biggest hug and said, we finally meet! my gorgeous sister!!(apparently oyin had told her about me just as she had told me about her)
so we sat down to talk......
i remembered oyin making plans and going out of state for Mabel's wedding last year. it was one of those "wedding of the year" shindig.

it happened that the groom skipped out on the wedding day, what did home girl do?

she had the Tiffany blinder overnighted to the bobo,packed up the wedding dress and headed to the church , where she rededicated her life to God and help lead more than fifty people to salvation,had the hall redecorated for a thanksgiving party, gave all the guests the option to take back their gifts before donating them to charity and then she partied till dawn.needless to say, it was a memorable party.

i remembered being proud of how she handled the situation and yet concerned about her when oyin recounted the events,and i insisted she check on her often.

as expected there was a lot of "talk", some said she must not have loved the bobo, other said she was masking the pain, some said she was still in shock ...

i asked,if she cried,if she loved the bobo and where she got the strength to move on?

her response:
i cried for about 5 mins and then it dawned on me he was not who i thought he was which means i was crying for someone who didn't exist, that's when i realize that i should be thankful,I'll take a cancelled wedding any day to a miserable marriage. won't u?
then i got very angry, angry at myself angry at my parents:here they are throwing me the biggest party ever just because i snagged a man, as if to say this is your biggest achievement ever!
how come they didn't throw a big party for my 21st bday, what about college graduation? graduation from law school? passing the bar? heck! why didn't i throw myself a big party for any or all of those milestones? that's when i decided i should celebrate myself.
i loved him,i still talk to him, can't waste my time being bitter or negative what's the point of that? my strength is from the love of God and the love i have for myself.
i have no regrets at all. i'm dating a great guy if it leads to marriage good if not great.

Oyin,
glad ur bday party rocked! u rocked that fasasi!!(i want my manute boo back kia kia)
thanks to mabel, we're all throwing bday parties this year(our own contribution to the economy.. yes ke)

loving and finding love

All humans have an intrinsic need to be loved and valued. are all humans then capable of loving and receiving love? is love the same for all humans? if not why not? if so why?

in order to find love, one need to love first.how will u know love if u don't know what love is?
what can cause one's perception of love to be distorted?
is loving the same as being "in love"?

mommy dearest

i just got off the phone with my mum..
i know i said she was strong and all that but it seems the woman is getting mellow in her old age.she went on and on about how a woman no matter how successful in her career would not be taken seriously if she is not married. lol
i had to remind her that she was
practically single most of her life (she had the sense to leave an abusive marriage) she countered with " i can still say i was married"
i tried to point out how illogical her argument was but the old fox still had her litigious skills intact, she hammered on about being able to say she had tried it and therefore avoid being labelled.
she finally conceded when i asked her if marriage was something to do for doing sake? what wrong with taking one's time to ensure a successful marriage if and when it happens?did she not etch into my brains that "anything worth doing at all is worth doing very very well"?
i understand her fears and concerns that is shared among parents with girls in the "marriageable age"but i don't subscribe to that school of thought. I'm not married not for a lack of suitors but, mainly cos i want to discover myself first,i find that, day by day i become a better me, my interests and desires are daily expanding. I'm loving this journey to self a lot.(one suitor wrote a poem " let 's go on this journey together" it was sweet and tempting then i realized it would no longer be my journey.)
one friend insinuated it was a selfish decision,and i promptly pointed out that, it proved i was not ready.

on a funny note:my grandma also had something to say, she said"u beta mari jeje now o before u lukudate"lol ( i just love my grandma)

i have to admit she did have a point about having someone to share milestones
and celebrate achievements and special moments with. this happened to me a couple of months ago when i was awarded a highly coveted designation in my field,at the time i didn't attach great importance to it and due to the distance so i didn't invited my mum or siblings.i recall now the feeling of loneliness/emptiness despite the presence of the fab4.(my girls and i call ourselves "the fab5")
i was actually seeing 'my one'(i'll tell u about him later)at the time, but i did'nt invite him mainly because i didn't want him to feel obligated to buy a gift(he's big on gifts) and i wasn't sure where we were.
this is the first post on this issue, i will share more later

i often wonder why women and young girls are victims of horrific crimes and abuse more than men and little boys?
why the female gender is considered inferior or weak? are women really weak and inferior?
is there really anything a man can do that a woman can't do (we know the obvious)
if women are not weak why are many putting up with all the abuse and dehumanising? is life worth living under bondage? if they are weak, are they born weak?conditioned by society? created by God weak?? what is the explanation for the strenght and courage many "strong"
women of the world? is it all the fault of "men"
i can understand and accept any excuse for accepting the status quo in the past, but not in the 21st century!! evidence are in abundance both historically and present of the capabilities and abilities of women. why are we accepting less than the very best for ourselves? who can love us if we don't love ourselves? why can't we see through the flimsiest lies?why do we deceive each other? surely we are not daft. why can't we see the power we possess? we have been endowed with the future of the universe why are we squadering this power?

i only want answers or more qustions. if you have none please don't comment(this is not even remotely connected to any feminist movement.. right or left wing)_