mommy dearest

i just got off the phone with my mum..
i know i said she was strong and all that but it seems the woman is getting mellow in her old age.she went on and on about how a woman no matter how successful in her career would not be taken seriously if she is not married. lol
i had to remind her that she was
practically single most of her life (she had the sense to leave an abusive marriage) she countered with " i can still say i was married"
i tried to point out how illogical her argument was but the old fox still had her litigious skills intact, she hammered on about being able to say she had tried it and therefore avoid being labelled.
she finally conceded when i asked her if marriage was something to do for doing sake? what wrong with taking one's time to ensure a successful marriage if and when it happens?did she not etch into my brains that "anything worth doing at all is worth doing very very well"?
i understand her fears and concerns that is shared among parents with girls in the "marriageable age"but i don't subscribe to that school of thought. I'm not married not for a lack of suitors but, mainly cos i want to discover myself first,i find that, day by day i become a better me, my interests and desires are daily expanding. I'm loving this journey to self a lot.(one suitor wrote a poem " let 's go on this journey together" it was sweet and tempting then i realized it would no longer be my journey.)
one friend insinuated it was a selfish decision,and i promptly pointed out that, it proved i was not ready.

on a funny note:my grandma also had something to say, she said"u beta mari jeje now o before u lukudate"lol ( i just love my grandma)

i have to admit she did have a point about having someone to share milestones
and celebrate achievements and special moments with. this happened to me a couple of months ago when i was awarded a highly coveted designation in my field,at the time i didn't attach great importance to it and due to the distance so i didn't invited my mum or siblings.i recall now the feeling of loneliness/emptiness despite the presence of the fab4.(my girls and i call ourselves "the fab5")
i was actually seeing 'my one'(i'll tell u about him later)at the time, but i did'nt invite him mainly because i didn't want him to feel obligated to buy a gift(he's big on gifts) and i wasn't sure where we were.
this is the first post on this issue, i will share more later