mommy dearest

i just got off the phone with my mum..
i know i said she was strong and all that but it seems the woman is getting mellow in her old age.she went on and on about how a woman no matter how successful in her career would not be taken seriously if she is not married. lol
i had to remind her that she was
practically single most of her life (she had the sense to leave an abusive marriage) she countered with " i can still say i was married"
i tried to point out how illogical her argument was but the old fox still had her litigious skills intact, she hammered on about being able to say she had tried it and therefore avoid being labelled.
she finally conceded when i asked her if marriage was something to do for doing sake? what wrong with taking one's time to ensure a successful marriage if and when it happens?did she not etch into my brains that "anything worth doing at all is worth doing very very well"?
i understand her fears and concerns that is shared among parents with girls in the "marriageable age"but i don't subscribe to that school of thought. I'm not married not for a lack of suitors but, mainly cos i want to discover myself first,i find that, day by day i become a better me, my interests and desires are daily expanding. I'm loving this journey to self a lot.(one suitor wrote a poem " let 's go on this journey together" it was sweet and tempting then i realized it would no longer be my journey.)
one friend insinuated it was a selfish decision,and i promptly pointed out that, it proved i was not ready.

on a funny note:my grandma also had something to say, she said"u beta mari jeje now o before u lukudate"lol ( i just love my grandma)

i have to admit she did have a point about having someone to share milestones
and celebrate achievements and special moments with. this happened to me a couple of months ago when i was awarded a highly coveted designation in my field,at the time i didn't attach great importance to it and due to the distance so i didn't invited my mum or siblings.i recall now the feeling of loneliness/emptiness despite the presence of the fab4.(my girls and i call ourselves "the fab5")
i was actually seeing 'my one'(i'll tell u about him later)at the time, but i did'nt invite him mainly because i didn't want him to feel obligated to buy a gift(he's big on gifts) and i wasn't sure where we were.
this is the first post on this issue, i will share more later

i often wonder why women and young girls are victims of horrific crimes and abuse more than men and little boys?
why the female gender is considered inferior or weak? are women really weak and inferior?
is there really anything a man can do that a woman can't do (we know the obvious)
if women are not weak why are many putting up with all the abuse and dehumanising? is life worth living under bondage? if they are weak, are they born weak?conditioned by society? created by God weak?? what is the explanation for the strenght and courage many "strong"
women of the world? is it all the fault of "men"
i can understand and accept any excuse for accepting the status quo in the past, but not in the 21st century!! evidence are in abundance both historically and present of the capabilities and abilities of women. why are we accepting less than the very best for ourselves? who can love us if we don't love ourselves? why can't we see through the flimsiest lies?why do we deceive each other? surely we are not daft. why can't we see the power we possess? we have been endowed with the future of the universe why are we squadering this power?

i only want answers or more qustions. if you have none please don't comment(this is not even remotely connected to any feminist movement.. right or left wing)_